I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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