I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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