Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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