I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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