can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
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I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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