Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The Olympian is in my bed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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