I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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