i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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