the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize