Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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