Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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