i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Someone came in the potted fern
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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