we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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