I wish I could punch you in the face.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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