mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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