Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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