i was born a porn star she said
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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