You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize