The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize