none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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