sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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