About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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