I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we're making bets on your personal life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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