Got a toothbrush?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize