I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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