Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize