So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize