so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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