He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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