You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize