I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
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I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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