how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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