ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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