I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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