my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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