I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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