White coat. Heels.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize