toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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