HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize