wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize