you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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