Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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