im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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