Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize