"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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