We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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