why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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