Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We just shotgunned beers for America
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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