I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize