If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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